Product Therapy: the drama triangle, sourdough bagels and moody boy spring
April 2025 stuff
A theme that came up across almost every coaching conversation I had this past month was the elements of the Drama Triangle.
My coach first introduced it to me last year and itās one of the most powerful frameworks and mindset shifts Iāve made in awhile. It also extends well beyond my work life.
The Drama Triangle maps three roles we cycle through in conflict: Victim, Persecutor, and Rescuer, each one keeping us stuck and the drama alive. I could keep explaining it but watching this 3 minute video is much more comprehensive and enjoyable.
The role that hit closest to home for me was Victim.
Growing up, I thought resilience meant weathering whatever happened to me and making it through. Aka surviving. What I didnāt realize until the past few years is that thereās a flip side, and its not just something thatās more productive, it feels a lot better too. Itās called Creator Mode.
Creator mode = instead of things happening to me, Iām actively creating circumstances, solutions, and the world I want for myself.
Having this framework in my toolkit, I can now tell, in real time, when I slip into Victim mode: with my tone, my language, my demeanor, my spirit.
Victim mode has a particular weight to it. Creator mode is lighter.
Hereās why: building something is easier than resisting something.
Itās like swimming with the wave instead of against it.
I wish I had this framework years ago.
Recently Iāve been shuffling it around to clients and colleagues.
And maybe, this is landing at a good time for you too.
Happy Creating!
Things I Stacked
I shared some more BTS about how Iām using AI to more smarter and how I create and coach others to build the conditions for success
And I loved this piece by Elena Verna about how to measure qualitative product feedback in a creative, quantitative way.
Culture Clicks
Barreled through šŗ Company Retreat and absolutely sobbed at the end. Heartwarming, courageous and perfect, no notes. Iām rejoicing since thereās now a ā Midi Crossword in the NYT Games app. Iām always amazed at how many people are playing the main Crossword on my commute to work. I finally tried š„Æ Apollo Bagels and yes the hype is real. The sourdough bagels do hit differently. Iāve been keeping it simple with the Tomato and CC and omg, itās fantastic. šÆ Sahadiās Industry City makes such good make to order food and theyāve got music, outdoor space, fun and vibes! NYers, this is your yearly reminder to go have an Industry City day. š I havenāt taken this zip up off since I bought it, and its on sale, youāre welcome. š And a harrowing tale, the new way relationships to endā¦ š¶ Everyoneās1 talking about new Tom Misch and Jack Harlow and James Blake and with Harry Styles new album, it really feels like moody boy spring is blooming.
Substack clicks
Iām Jori Bell, VP of Core at Hampton and a coach for Product Leaders. Learn more about my coaching practice here.
Everyone = my husband
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