The vacation rollercoaster
What stepping away from work feels like & how to cope at each phase.
I’ve got lots of new folks here, so I’ll reintroduce myself: I’m Jori and I’m a Product Coach. I support product people + their teams. Check out more about me here.
Candidly, my brain is mush.
I just returned stateside after two weeks out of the country.
As with every vacation, I’ve returned home and I'm sitting here existentially contemplating work/life balance and how challenging it can be to step away from work.
And it has me thinking about what vacation really is.
Is it a state of mind? Is it a destination? How is it earned? Or is it just our right?1
Working for myself, I have much more flexibility but, I also have trouble turning it all off. It’s a complete privilege to be able to fully disconnect. But, when you’re a one-woman show, there’s a ton of pressure to keep the lights on and maintain the hustle. Paid time off doesn’t really exist.2
For me, the best thing about vacation is fully unplugging from technology.
It’s been awhile since I’ve done that.
The quality of the time away isn’t measured by the sights I saw or the distance I traveled, but the disconnection I felt from my everyday life. And the way my nervous system feels at ease.
While I could theoretically achieve this at home, it’s a lot more challenging. I could sit at home and not work, but the dishwasher beckons, my dog needs to be walked and there’s that thing I’ve been needing to get to and maybe now’s the time. For me, removing myself from my daily life helps me reset in ways a staycation never could.
But the truth is, every vacation I find myself riding the rollercoaster of unplugging.
So while my brain unmushes, these are the definitive phases of the vacation rollercoaster and how to cope with each one.
The pre-vacation, the week before you leave. 😏
The feeling: Pure excitement of leaving work behind and unplugging. You’re giving, “screw it, not my problem” energy and your team feels it.
What you do about it: Make a OOO document, start redirecting inquires to your coverage partners, make cute automated email & slack messages that make coworkers jealous.
The 24hr hours before you leave. 😱
The feeling: Panic as everyone decides to respond to your emails, schedule calls and and move everything stalled forward, at last. You wonder if now is the worst time to step away from work.
What you do about it: You scramble to move those project pieces forward and ensure that you squeeze the most out of your last hours online. You contemplate moving your flight or worse, bringing your computer with you on your trip.
The first 1/3 of vacation 😬
The feeling: Cautious optimism as you feel the sunshine on your face but hold onto the neuroses of your world back home. You’re still monitoring news, checking your email and sadly, maybe even slack. LinkedIn is reminding you to check your notifications.
What you do about it: Your technology has a tight grip - it’s designed that way, it’s totally not you - so you check your emails and tell yourself it’s going to get easier to unplug, just give it a few days.
The pretty middle 😎
The feeling: Full surrender as the technology loosens its grip and the culture, the food, the nature lures you into the present moment. You start pulling away from text messages. Your family and friends can track your whereabouts on Find my Friends. Your nervous system is restored to factory settings.
What you do about it: You are on island time and your big problems have melted away. Your biggest concerns are getting dinner reservations and finding aloe vera before the pharmacy closes. Life is good.
The beautiful end 🧜♀️
The feeling: Peace and serenity. You are one with the water and the land. You are essentially a mermaid.
What you do about it: You contemplate skipping your flight home and seriously consider making a new life for yourself where you are. No dream is too big and reality is not a thing that’s discussed at all.
The commute home 🏠
The feeling: A pit in your stomach grows and ignorance isn’t really bliss anymore. You’re seeing a reality that’s about to hit the moment your plane touches down on the tarmac.
What you do about it: Your dirty laundry is calling, your dependents3 need you, your email is taunting you to be read, but all you can do is rot in bed. You should rot in bed for as long as you can.
The first day back ☹️
The feeling: You’re existential, depressed and deflated to return to your torture device4. People say they’re happy to see you but they’re just happy to stop doing your work.
What you do about it: Avoid all work and start googling how to move to where you just came from.
I’d love to know how you unplug….and of course, what you do to keep the post vacation scaries away. Happy vacationing, spring breakers!
Before I left, I wrote a piece for David Pereira and did a podcast episode for Brie abramowicz. Check out both below:
Traveling with some European friends, it is unequivocally our right.
Yet…
Ok my dog was fine, and maybe better off at the dog sitter.
Your computer.
I feel you. Stepping away is harder when you run the show. We keep wondering, but it's a good moment to reflect about what matters for us, where we want to spend our time and what to let go of.
Thanks for sharing your experience so openly.